A Road Block (and Getting Ready to Leave)

Just a quick post.  I'm sorry I'm failing at the challenge posts... I feel like I've been failing at everything that even remotely involves being healthy, dieting, losing weight, twitter, #7daychip, or this blog lately and I am really sorry and feel pretty bad about it.  I feel like every time I go to start something or set a goal with the first hiccup it all falls to pieces and I'm back to where I've started.  Like the first mistake or misstep turns into a road block that keeps me from getting back on track and doing what I said I would do.  I never used to feel like this, why now?

That said, I hope to get back on the horse starting tomorrow.  Not going to write any goals right now because I don't want to let myself down again, I just really want to survive the next (get ready for it) 6 days before I fly home to America!!!  I've been busily packing and getting my affairs in order... and letting my eating and exercise slag in a big way.  It's really caught up with me all of a sudden today and I've been really bummed out and feeling huge and disgusting all day.  After I post this, I'm off to bed so I can MAKE MYSELF get up and RUN tomorrow before work.  I'm going to do it.  I am. I am. I am.

This week I've also really started thinking about going back to WeightWatchers when I get home, more specifically for the summer.  I checked my loan repayment plan (I'm trying to REALLY accelerate it to be out of debt ASAP) and paying for 4 months of the monthly pass change the end date of my new plan at all.  So, I'm currently thinking I'll sign up with a goal of doing it for the summer.  If at the end of summer, I'm not taking advantage of it and I'm not at least 10lbs down... then I'll stop my subscription when we move and go back to using CalorieCount for free... What do you guys think?  I think that with this plateau and the way I've been feeling, I really need my meetings (and my AWESOME leader at home) back.  Something needs to change and I need to kick myself in gear since Jon and our friends have a packed schedule of fun races and other event we want to do.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling post, just wanted to put out how I'm feeling to the blogosphere and remind you all that I'm still here.  I'm working on a few posts right now: moving out (with photos), a new challenge post, a plan for the summer, etc.  Stay tuned!

Update: For the first time in I think all of 2011 so far, I actually DID get up at 6am and go for a run after this post.  I hope that this is the start of me being back on track, one mile at a time.  Stay tuned for the next post, I just saw it's going to be my 200TH!!!

Don't want to "gâcher mon régime"

I was great all day yesterday at school. I woke up early after more sleep than I'd had the night before, made a cup of tea, and proceeded to dress nicely and put on make-up in an effort to make myself appear much better than I felt. It worked for awhile, which is good. Sylvie, the director of La Passerelle (the school I teach at on Thursdays) informed me that this means I need to take a "French Lover" (she said those words in English, btw). We'll see. Just the thought currently makes me want to throw up.

Anyway, the kids were really great. Somehow having an entire school worth of children flock to you, say "Hello!" and hug you kind of helps. We made pumpkin pies with one of my classes (photos to come later) and I had an exceptionally excellent Thursday lunch with the teachers. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned Thursday lunch, but everyone chips in 10€ and the husband of one of the teachers makes a gourmet meal. This week, Jean-Yves made sauerkraut (since he's from Alsace) and apple pie and, although I still have next to no appetite, I did enjoy it... even if I didn't finish my already small slice of pie. Sauerkraut is a big dish in Cincinnati so it was a comforting meal, since I'd give anything to be home right now. Here are a few photos I managed to take of the meal with my cell phone:

Jean-Yves making some final preparations... That's a lot of food.
The big platter for this week. Don't worry there were 12 of us and plenty of leftovers.

So far, I'm finding that being home alone is the worst. I feel very much like the person Dane Cook describes in this video. It's one of my favorite Dane Cook clips and it managed to make me smile a bit today. I'm lucky I have so many people who are willing to put up with me right now, I'm sure I'm rather tiring to deal with.

I stepped on the scale this morning and am apparently 2 kilos down from the last time I measured (perhaps a week or 2 ago?). I wish I could say it was the new plan, but I have a feeling the reason I'm finding the new plan so easy has more to do with the fact that I'm not hungry. Though, I do love me these bananas. Like I said, I refuse to let how sad and hurt I am "gâcher mon régime (diet)" and all my hard work. Gâcher is a great verb, by the way. It means "to waste, ruin, spoil, or throw away." For example, here a common expression with it is "gâcher sa vie" meaning to ruin one's life. I won't be melodramatic and say my life is ruined because that's not the case, but I do like the verb and don't want to ruin all my hard work by stuffing my face with pizza and ice cream. That'd just make me feel worse.

In an effort to make myself feel better, I'm trying to do the opposite and today, I woke up and suited up for my first run since November 5th (which is coincidentally Jon's birthday now that I think about it). Not important. What is important is that I got out there in the freezing cold (it was -2ºC/28ºF) and did my best.

Here I am (blurry) after my run. I had kept on my gloves, ear thing, turtle neck, jacket etc the whole time and my arms and my butt were FREEZING. Any ideas on what to do?

It was only a 3 mile run and I stopped 4 times for water and to get my heart rate to come down since it was frequently up around 184, which is really high for me. Not a super fast pace, but I got out of the house and did it and for that I'm proud.

My friend Judith (the professor I worked with in Paris) is coming into town tomorrow, so I'm really looking forward to seeing her. It'll be really comforting since she knows both of us, she and I are really close, AND she's also kind of a sister/mentor/mom figure sometimes and I really would love a family-hug. She got confused and I thought she was getting here today since she bought the wrong train tickets. Oops! When I figured out I'd have the whole day to myself, I really panicked (I'm not doing so well alone right now), but Kyle, Helen, and some other friends have pulled through and have been around and will be making me go out tonight so I am far from Facebook etc. Whew. Again, really lucky to have such a great group of family and friends.

On that note, I need to go read some of the stuff I want to read to prepare for my grad school interviews. I reaaaaaaaally want to get into Emory still. Though, a nap does sound quite nice.

The French Play to Win: Lessons from Today's 10k

Success! I've finally finished my first race in France with a PR of 1:15:04 (according to Mr. Garmin) with a distance of 6.5 miles exactly. Apparently it was a 10.5km race, not 10. Oops!

That said, it was a really weird experience. I had no problems getting registered (apparently the scan of my medical form emailed to me by my doctor stateside is 100% a-ok) and getting my tee-shirt etc. But, starting with the kids race and looking around, I noticed that absolutely everyone looked like a racer. Not a runner. A racer. As in wearing their specific club "uniforms" and such and just overall looking like very serious runners. I know I'm not a race veteran or anything, but at all of my US races these people obviously exist, but there's also a healthy mix of walkers, casual runners/joggers, and generally less "olympic" looking participants. So, starting early I began to get a little nervous... I mean, I didn't look like a complete outfit neophyte—I had my hydration belt, my garmin, and my underarmour—but looking around I was already getting a little uneasy. Thankfully, Sylvain and his wife were very positive (and even took this lovely photo of me pre-race... The set up was intended for the kids, but whatever):


And eventually the time came to get started. Their son, Pierre, placed 1st or 2nd in his age group's race before the adult race, so he left, but Sylvain and his wife (who's name I am SO embarrassed to think I never really learned....?) whole-heartedly adopted the role of official Nicky photographers and moved around the course and watched me pass by. That was new and fun because I always race with Jon or my friends so are either too busy recovering themselves after the race to watch me finish or are running themselves, so this was the first time I've ever had "race photos" taken.




It didn't take long to realize that I was right about the whole "racing" thing. Apparently the only French people that participate in races in France are those who race to win (or not far off). I quickly found myself nearing last place... where I would stay for the rest of the race. This was really difficult for me, actually, because I wasn't at all prepared for that to happen... Especially since I was doing so well (in my own opinion), since this was such a hilly and difficult course. I'd looked at the elevation map on the site before running the race, but wow, in person it was really hard... I'm not going to lie, I definitely stopped and walked a few steps/drank some water on these hills!


See? Check out that those two intense hills! Despite being last, the people along side (though not numerous) were really supportive, so that's nice.



Climbing up another hill
The second half of the race was better because it was mostly downhill, but from there on out, I was 100% alone... I couldn't see people ahead or the last last people behind me. Here are a few post race shots. One thing to be said about the olympians is that they did cheer me on as I came in at the end (you know, as they were all leaving).


Showing off my celebratory flower and bottle of wine
All in all, it was really weird (and difficult mentally) knowing I was 4th to last in the race. They even started opening up the roads as we were still running by, so occasionally on the big hills, we got passed by cars. I actually had to move once to let one go by on a narrow street. (Very discouraging, actually). As such, I fought with myself the whole way and even though I'm really pleased with how I did (you know, setting a PR and all on a difficult course), it's a bit bittersweet. It's also making me reconsider sending in my registration for the half on Nov. 13th... I can't stop thinking that if I finished 4th kicking my butt on a 10k and they were already closing the course, what's going to happen during a half marathon where my A-goal is 2:30:00? I already looked and the half seems pretty flat, but there were also (based on the 2009 results only 10 runners (out of the 961 listed) who finished the race with a 2:30:00 time or above... Yeah. It's not looking good folks. What do you guys suggest?

PS- To make matters worse, I saw that Sylvain and his wife had an electric scale, so I decided to get a more exact reading to confirm my 73kg weigh-in (and my 160 -30lbs goal conversion as a result)... and I weighed in at 75.5. Just to add insult to injury. Ulgh. Not a good day, despite PRing. At least Auburn beat LSU last night! #1 in the SEC!