Keeping My Word: 7 day chip disappointment... again.

I have problems pushing myself. I also have problems sticking with what I say I'm going to do. But, now I'm so in a rut with this I don't know how to find the motivation to change it. Every let down just proves the rule and I'm getting discouraged.

Case in point: this week's sugar-free/baguette-free 7 day chip goal. Did good for a few days, then got myself in a situation where I was too hungry and couldn't bring myself to be the only one out of the three of us not to get "the best ice cream ever" (Jean-Michel's assessment) that he wanted so bad we drove 60km from the beach we WERE (Salin-de-Giraud) to the town of Saintes-Marie-de-la-Mer to get a cone. The ice cream was amazing, but I knew that I was ashamed of myself when I didn't take a picture of the pretty colors to share with my blog readers. I didn't admit to anyone in the #7daychip group that I'd fallen on Day 3 either. I just quit tweeting so I wouldn't have to mention it. I was embarrassed.

At the gorgeous Salin-de-Giraud beach pre-sugar

From there, it became "Well, at least no baguette." Then, what happened? Rosie and I made cookies and I was going to eat dinner at hers so I was going to bring along a baguette for everyone... But, I ended up not going and was thus left alone with a baguette in my apartment. Complete and utter 7 day chip fail.

I am going to run tonight to at least make my weekly mileage goal, but I still feel like I've let myself down. More importantly, I've let the other tweeps down too. I'm so encouraged by everyone's successes on Twitter and via blogs that when I'm doing poorly, instead of getting on here and talking about how I'm feeling and feeding into that motivation and support, I just shut down and disappear for awhile.

I only have 5 weeks left here in France, so I'm going to try and make the most of it. Get my runs in, eat the food I want in moderation, and try and stick to some kind of plan. I'm going to try from here on out to be more honest with my blog and with my twittering. I'm really struggling for motivation right now and I hope reaching out to you guys will help me get it back.

On that note, my goals for this week are simple: be honest about what I'm doing, avoid food binges (if I'm going to have some baguette, I will have a SERVING of baguette and not half of one like I did this weekend), and get my weekly mileage in (more on that soon).

Thanks for sticking with me (and with the blog). Your comments, advice, and support, really mean a lot, especially since I know that my blog isn't as inspiring as others since I'm currently not seeing amazing losses or fabulous results. I know it's going to get better, I'm going to make it.

First Real Run of the New Year

Now that it's the New Year, Helen and I have decided that we have to get down to business. She apparently got a lot of mocking back in the UK from her dad and boyfriend (who are both runners) and who don't believe she'll actually do it, so she's returned to Avignon full of determination and pep. I haven't heard anyone tell me they don't think I can do it, but I do want to prove this to myself and make this half marathon part of the proof that I'm spending the rest of these 6 months focusing on me and making me happy. Who knows what these next 6 months will bring based on recent conversations, but, if nothing else, I can at least make sure that I've lived this remaining time in France to the fullest, enjoyed my friends, and kept myself healthy and positive.

Since I've been back in my apartment (which feels really great, by the way), I've been tracking and eating really healthy. I actually had my first run-in with cooking bulgur wheat and, I must say, I'm a big fan. Kyle and I also attempted to make a dessert by warming up bananas with cinnamon and I must have done something different from what my friend Amber does because they were not good.

My friend Kyle playing cheap sommelier in the Casino supermarket under my apartment


I also invested in a coffee pot to brew the yummy American coffee I brought back with me and have been able to enjoy some yummy American-ized breakfast this week, since I also brought back packets of Quaker Oat's Raisin, Walnut, and Date oatmeal. YUM and with added walnuts and cranberries only ends up at 6pts! WOO!




So, as you can see, it's been a good food week. I made extra of that bulgur wheat dish and grilled all of the 8 chicken breasts, so I've been able to reheat meals all week making for a healthy time! :)

Now, onto the aforementioned run. Since I've been back, it's been "balmy" (i.e. around 50ºF with no real wind to speak of) and I've been loving it. It was kind of chilly walking to meet Helen in my sleeveless running top, but it made for a really nice temperature for the run. The first mile was at a great pace: 11:45, but it proved to be unsustainable as you can see for our remaining miles (that are a bit skewed, I suppose since we took a walk break at 1.5 miles for .1 miles and stopped for water 3 or so times). I forgot to wear my HRM, but, from the way I was feeling, I know that my HR was at least consistently into the 180s (which is where I get really really uncomfortable) if not higher.



It was a really tough run (which is embarrassing to say) and, though my legs aren't sore at all today, my back and abs really are... Have any of you ever had that happen? Anyway, I'm glad we got out there--we're still working on our plan and are going on a 4-miler tomorrow before starting "real" training next week. Here goes!

Oh and to end on an adorable note, here's a cute photo of one of the girls I babysit (Thymiane or "Tim") and me sharing some jasmine tea on Wednesday. She's the oldest and is starting to enjoy doing grown-up girly things. I love them!

Mini-Goal Self Challenge: Day 2

Quick post since I'm WIPED out, but I'm determined to keep myself accountable for this mini-goal challenge I've set for myself.

I planned out my whole day of points before breakfast and clocked in at 24.5, including a dinner time stop at my favorite: Chipotle. I was feeling really great about this until I realized en route to work that today was a fun morning at work where they were giving the entire company muffins and smoothies! I should've just stayed at my desk, but I went over with my girls and grabbed a bran/apple muffin (and turned down the smoothie) for an estimated 7pts.

I tried not to beat myself up over it and was planning on cutting back on lunch to attempt to make up for it... but the hunger and the knowledge that I had a run tonight had me eat what I'd brought anyway, so I'm ending the day with 31pts and 8APs from tonight's run:



Tonight was the first official night of my half marathon training and it called for a 2mi warm up, 5-7 aerobic intervals with recovery jogs and a 2mi cool down. At the beginning, this run felt AMAZING. In fact, so amazing that I ran my first mile in 10:24, a pace that I haven't hit in eons! I thought I was going to be able to keep that up, but clearly I was too ambitious as after that first mile, the rest of the run was really downhill (and I don't mean in the running down hills sort of way). My feet started hurting, and my right one even kept feeling like it was asleep. I ended up walking a bit between intervals and then after my first mile or so into the last 2 miles, I couldn't deal with the foot thing anymore, so I walked mile 5 all the way home.

Not my best run by any means, but it happens to everybody, so I'll just get back out there tomorrow (or Thursday, depending on the training schedule) and keep on trucking. Same with the food--not the best, but DEFINITELY not my worst "splurge" ever and I made up for it with my APs tonight. This goal is so happening!

On that front, one of my co-workers gave me a "miracle" cleanse diet thing that you do for a week and are supposed to drop at least 5lbs... I'm debating trying it just to kick start this whole process, but I'm torn. I've lost the first 20-25 just cutting back and moving more, so I almost feel like doing something like that would totally be cheating all my hard work and sounds a bit unhealthy... So, I ask you, my dear bloggie friends, what do you think? Have any of you ever tried one of these cleanse-y vegetable soup things?

Oh, and last thing... The YMCA lady hasn't called me back about the 1-month membership thing... I've done it 3 times before and this time when I called the girl at the desk told me I'd have to pay a $150 joining fee... to join for one month. Needless to say, that won't be happening. Hopefully if the lady calls me back we can work something out. If not, maybe I'll just buy the 30-day shred of something to do as Xtraining. What do you think?

PS- Tricia @ Endurance isn't Only Physical is doing a Surgoi give-away with running gear! Definitely entered and have already fallen in love with a pair of long running tights... Not gonna lie, these might have to be a pre-France wintery running gift to myself...

Behind on blogging and a bout of homesickness

I know I'm being on a few runs, but I think I might leave the detailed posts about them out, and just pick up from here since I feel like I've really fallen behind with the blog.

I got to spend this weekend in the South of France with my French family and the friends I made the last time I was here and when I studied abroad in Avignon. It was really relaxing and stress-relieving to get out of Paris for a weekend and to go somewhere that I recognized and felt at home, especially since in many ways, the house my family lives in in Miramas was my "home" when I studied abroad. We had a really fun weekend grilling out, camping with friends, and going to the beach. I even got to catch a French film I'd wanted to see in theatres with my cousin before we went to meet my train in Aix-en-Provence. All-in-all, it was really what I needed this weekend to be. Sidenote: I accidentally forgot my swim suit in Paris and ended up buying this one at a Wal-Mart like establishment (called Auchan) for 7 EURO. Win.

I'm not going to lie, so far, this trip to France has been the hardest I've had yet and it's been alternately interesting and stressful to see that happening. It's mostly stressful because any time I'm unhappy here now, I then immediately think about how I'm going to be back here soon and for 9 months, which makes it worse to think about. I've thought a lot about it, and talked a lot about it to my "boss," my cousin Michel, and Jon, and I think it can be chalked up to several things:

1. Food
2. Fatigue
3. I miss Jon

I've already talked a little bit about the food I've found here and how I've been eating, but I don't know if I've successfully communicated how much the food here has been stressing me out. First off, I have really bad "stimulus control," especially when essentially on vacation in one of the food capitals of the world. It's been near impossible for me to say no when people want to grab a bite to eat and to stay inside and eat a frozen dinner or something instead (Living in a dorm REALLY makes me miss my kitchen). I also love trying new foods and going out to dinner to chat, so it's been hard to avoid.

Second, not being able to eat what I usually eat has been difficult to adjust to. I talked to Michel and my "aunt" Marïthé about it this weekend, so I think I'll be able to do better these last few weeks back here in Paris. My main food goals are going to be to cut back on the French bread and dessert consumption, try to eat smaller servings, and to keep eating my regular all-bran breakfast and the low-cal snacks I found at the market:

Look! A few of my low-cal, fiberific finds. I don't think you can find this Special K thing in the States (I'm not sure), but it's DELICIOUS. I'm thinking of bringing a packet back to my WW meeting at home to have some show and tell.
As for the fatigue, this weekend helped a lot. Coming off of the trip to Alabama without any time to really unpack/repack and then forgetting my carryon at home was really stressful and once I got here, we all hit the ground running, so I don't think I ever really calmed down. This week, my goal is to take at least one night to myself to go for a walk, perhaps catch a movie, whatnot and just relax a bit.

Finally, the missing Jon thing has been pretty big, honestly. It kind of makes me feel like a big baby, but again, I arrived in Paris, tired and stressed out and went immediately from seeing him literally 24/7 like I had for 2 weeks in Alabama to being separated by originally a nine-hour time difference and an entire ocean... Not fun. I still miss him a lot, but it'll be okay. I have my aunt's iPhone to use, so we have Skype, international texting, etc. to communicate, so it's not like we can't talk to/see one another, but it's still difficult. At least this will get us into a habit for when I come back. Also, Jon thinks he's going to come visit me twice next year so we can "do Europe," so that'll be really incredible. I keep seeing things in Paris and wishing he were here to experience it with me, so it'll be great to have him here for a few weeks at least.

Overall, after talking about it and doing some thinking while I was away from the group and Paris fora few days, I'm feeling a lot better. It is very interesting to see how different this experience is from my prior ones. It's amazing how different it is when you go to a country and just want to embrace everything and indulge in the food versus when you arrive in that country and still want to watch your food intake and eat more or less what you usually do.

Anyway, tomorrow should be good. I'm planning on a morning run and then having a healthy day--my aunt even sent me back to Paris with a bunch of tomatoes and homemade taboulé (my fave)! Here's to a healthy, less stressful week in Paris. I'm committed to making the remaining time the best, healthiest (mental and physical) time in Paris I can.

On tap:

1. Attending a French WW meeting
2. A visit of Montmartre, Père LaChaise, and the Pompidou center
3. A few runs
4. A relaxing weekend :)

Question: Have any of you ever had similar experiences on vacations? What did you do when your usual food wasn't available?

Off to Auburn!

I can't believe it's finally here: Our long-anticipated trip down south to spend a few weeks visiting friends and Jon's family, and working on getting Jon's house ready for its new renter who will be moving in right after we leave.

I probably won't have internet most of the time while we're down there, so there's a good chance you won't be seeing me for a few weeks, but, I promise to post when I get back and as I move on to Paris! Like I've already mentioned, I've already found a WW meeting in Auburn, so I hope to weigh-in at least once or twice and to stay on plan while I'm down there and we'll be there for almost 3 weeks, Jon and I are going to actually cook and try and eat normally as opposed to the restaurant free-for-all that our other trips to Auburn have been.

That said, I have a few goals for my time down there:
1. Try to stay on plan as much as possible and to not overdo it on beer and "Auburn" classic food (Mama G's, etc.). It's delicious, but I really don't want to gain a million pounds pre-Paris!
2. Keep up my half marathon training by exploring the town.
3. Weigh in at least once at a WW meeting.
4. Enjoy seeing everyone, since I won't be seeing any of them again until I get back from France next year (probably). Sadface.

On that note, I guess all I have to leave you with is a quick 'War Eagle!' ...Now, off to hop in the car!

Grad Rush and a New Project

Quick post during this here the busiest week of college: Graduation Week.

I swear, everyone wants to go out to eat/get coffee/get drinks. Thankfully though, I'm feeling very in control of my food. I planned it all out and I'll be good. I'm feeling very positive about it since I've already eaten out 3x this week and will be eating away from home for six out of the next seven meals. It's amazing how much more in control I feel when I plan first and then eat, instead of the opposite.

I've only been running once, but we've spent our evenings this week ripping up carpet, painting the ceiling and priming the walls of our was-disgusting guest room in anticipation for my mom staying here this weekend (I'll post photos soon).

Lastly, with the end of my last final for school, I have now begun a period of my life that I've been looking forward to for a long time: my Year of Pleasure Reading. With all of the thesis research and books for school I've been reading, I haven't read a book for fun in a long time. Since I'll only be teaching for 12-15 hours a week next week and then I'll be starting my MA/PhD, it's the best time possible to spend the next year reading for fun. My goal is to read 40 books (of any kind, size etc) and to blog about my experience and to get suggestions from you all.

I've already started my first book, My Blue Notebooks by Liane de Pougy, who was a courtesan in Paris in the early 1900s. It's a collection (and a translation) of her own personal journals. So far, it's very interesting. I also have books 2-4 lined up since they've been gifts (or an impulse buy on Amazon):

2. Extremely Loud and Everything Close by Jonathan Safran Foer (gift from my English Director of Studies)
3. Water for Elephants by Sara Greun (impulse buy on Amazon after a recommendation)
4. How Proust Can Change Your Life by Alain de Botton (gift from my thesis director/French Director of Studies).

Any other good recos? I'm accumulating a list! :)