I have problems pushing myself. I also have problems sticking with what I say I'm going to do. But, now I'm so in a rut with this I don't know how to find the motivation to change it. Every let down just proves the rule and I'm getting discouraged.
Case in point: this week's sugar-free/baguette-free 7 day chip goal. Did good for a few days, then got myself in a situation where I was too hungry and couldn't bring myself to be the only one out of the three of us not to get "the best ice cream ever" (Jean-Michel's assessment) that he wanted so bad we drove 60km from the beach we WERE (Salin-de-Giraud) to the town of Saintes-Marie-de-la-Mer to get a cone. The ice cream was amazing, but I knew that I was ashamed of myself when I didn't take a picture of the pretty colors to share with my blog readers. I didn't admit to anyone in the #7daychip group that I'd fallen on Day 3 either. I just quit tweeting so I wouldn't have to mention it. I was embarrassed.
At the gorgeous Salin-de-Giraud beach pre-sugar
From there, it became "Well, at least no baguette." Then, what happened? Rosie and I made cookies and I was going to eat dinner at hers so I was going to bring along a baguette for everyone... But, I ended up not going and was thus left alone with a baguette in my apartment. Complete and utter 7 day chip fail.
I am going to run tonight to at least make my weekly mileage goal, but I still feel like I've let myself down. More importantly, I've let the other tweeps down too. I'm so encouraged by everyone's successes on Twitter and via blogs that when I'm doing poorly, instead of getting on here and talking about how I'm feeling and feeding into that motivation and support, I just shut down and disappear for awhile.
I only have 5 weeks left here in France, so I'm going to try and make the most of it. Get my runs in, eat the food I want in moderation, and try and stick to some kind of plan. I'm going to try from here on out to be more honest with my blog and with my twittering. I'm really struggling for motivation right now and I hope reaching out to you guys will help me get it back.
On that note, my goals for this week are simple: be honest about what I'm doing, avoid food binges (if I'm going to have some baguette, I will have a SERVING of baguette and not half of one like I did this weekend), and get my weekly mileage in (more on that soon).
Thanks for sticking with me (and with the blog). Your comments, advice, and support, really mean a lot, especially since I know that my blog isn't as inspiring as others since I'm currently not seeing amazing losses or fabulous results. I know it's going to get better, I'm going to make it.
